Is there anyone else who can't sleep?

Sometimes I feel like I should be listening to more "classical" music. I have been practicing my audition music, which happens to be thoroughly kicking my ass right now, and I know I should be giving Tchaikovsky more careful attention in my spare time, but God damn it, the lure of Andrew Bird and The Decemberists and Katzenjammer is too strong to resist at times. Maybe I just need a relief from the campy emotions of Tchaikovsky and the stately classiness of Haydn. Like how sometimes a professional film critic might break down and pop in a Mel Gibson DVD, or something.

That said, I've somehow found it easier to focus on what I need to focus on these past couple of days. I guess, being in my apartment, with the music building half a mile away and the auditions looming closer (less than two weeks! Augh!), I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Now I'm in Sewanee to seek out friends who are supposedly here - maybe I'll see them, maybe I won't - it might be irrelevant; I don't know. I jammed with my brother, and it felt good even though it wasn't technically practicing.

I'm feeling the need to share something with someone. That feeling of chatting with a person, finding a commonality, and running with it. I haven't felt it in a while, and I kind of miss it. It's almost loneliness. It'll be gone soon, I'm sure. To be honest, the insomnia doesn't help. I'm smoking more. I'm pacing everywhere.

Where was I going with this? Anywhere? Probably not. Au revoir, les enfants.